WHAT MOTIVATES BEST, REWARDS OR PUNISHMENT?

What's the best way to encourage your child to achieve at the highest level possible? Should you dangle a "carrot" and reward your child with heavy praise, cash or other prizes for good grades? Or should you use the "stick" and punish your child when his or her work or behavior isn't up to some standard you've set?

According to most experts, if you picked the carrot as the best learning motivation, you made the wrong choice. But if you picked the stick, you also made the wrong choice! Neither approach is an effective, lasting way to build confidence and a desire to learn.

Double Jeopardy
Children who are repeatedly punished for their mistakes do the most natural thing in the world; they avoid making mistakes by refusing to participate in any kind of learning experience. They create the appearance of being "stupid" or not trying. In fact, they're too frightened to try because they know they can fail and be punished.

Ironically, the more positive carrot approach can produce the same result. Excessive praise, money or other gifts for good grades makes many children so totally dependent on adult approval that they become terrified and over anxious about making a mistake. They shy away from learning challenges where there's the risk of failure and the chance to lose adult approval. Neither the carrot nor the stick helps children appreciate the fact that the best reward for solving a problem or mastering a skill is self-approval.

Send the Right Signal
Children need to know that their parents equate schoolwork with more than just grades. Show an interest in what your child is learning. Ask questions about the day at school, not to test your child but to show that you consider his or her schoolwork to be an important activity. And show respect for your child as a learner.  When you're looking at a school paper, first acknowledge what was done right rather than point to what was done wrong -- even (especially) if the total grade is a low one. Interest and respect will go a lot further than praise or punishment.

Sincerely,

Pat Nunan
Principal

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